God is closer to my heart than anyone on this earth will ever be. I think sometimes we need to stop and realize that every once in a while

The Desert Psalm 63:1

     Have you ever felt like you were going through a "dry spell" in your life? Like everything is going wrong and you feel so alone? I've been there. I'm actually just recently coming out of one. I feel like i am on a journey through a desert and God is my water that i am so eagerly seeking.
     Three months ago, i gave birth to my beautiful son, Xander. Everything seemed perfect, new baby, wonderful husband, great, supporting family. What no one realized though was what i was struggling with inside. I felt alone. I felt like the walls were caving in and the floor was being swept out from under me. I was very depressed and had panic attacks all day every day. I was going through baby blues. I felt so far away from God and everyone for that matter. I was in my desert.
     At first, i was angry with God for feeling the way i felt, for letting me go through what i was going through. I had doctors telling me i was suffering from postpartum depression, they even prescribed me an antidepressant. For weeks, i went through my desert seeking doctors as my "water". I was so disappointed when nothing would work, and i just went into a deeper depression.
     Finally, i realized that i was going about it the wrong way. My spirit was thirsty, i needed to seek God in my time of need. I spoke to some pastors from my church and they told me to get into the word. This upset me at first, because i was blaming God for my sorrows, how could He help me if He was the one putting me through this?! But i finally caved in and prayed. As soon as i turned to God to be my source of "water" my panic attacks stopped! it was a true miracle! After three weeks of suffering through my desert, i finally found my water, God.
     What made me think to tell this story was a piece of scripture i came across that jumped out at me. Psalm 63:1 o God, you are my God; i earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. We must truly seek God when going through our tribulations. He will help us through it. I feel like when I do turn to God during these hard times, i become so much closer to him.
     Dear God, i pray that during hard times, i will turn to you for comfort and support. when i feel like there is no one else there, i pray that i know you are always there. Be my water in the desert. Amen.

Proverbs 27:6

     Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy… faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy… Matthew 26:49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and kissed him.  From what i've read, many people take this differently. So, after reading several different translations, i believe this is trying to teach me how to decipher between a friend and a foe. Also, this word tells me that a friend may hurt my feelings by telling me the truth and helping me in the long run, but an enemy will hide the truth to appease me, harming me in the long run. After i read this scripture, something in me spoke to me and i felt that i should read about the fruit of the spirit. First, i was led to Matthew 7:18 A good tree can't produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can't produce good fruit. And also Matthew 12:33 A tree is identified by its fruit. if a tree is good, its fruit will be good. if a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. To know someones true character, we must be able to see wether their fruit is good or bad. A enemy will appear to produce good fruit, but if we dig a little deeper, we will see that the fruit they bear only looks sweet. 

     Dear God, i pray to have the ability to accept criticism from my friends and to have the strength to turn away from temptations of evil, no matter how sweet it may seem. I pray that i will be able to decipher between good and bad fruit, and also that i may produce good fruit. Amen

Ezekiel 17:1-24

     The story of the two eagles. As i was reading this scripture, i will admit, i was completely lost! I read the riddle, then the explanation, and still had no clue what was going on. So i did some research. I found a website that explains this scripture in detail. So i will give a summary of the meaning here. The first eagle is Nebuchadnezzar. He comes from babylon and goes to Jerusalem to take the highest man in leadership, Jehoiachin back with him to babylon. Nebuchadnezzar also took all the men of might. He then took a seed, Zedekiah, and planted him so that his roots would grow towards Nebuchadnezzar. He made him king. And Zedekiah made a oath to Nebuchadnezzar that he would be his ally and never go against him. The second eagle is egypt. Zedekiah, against Gods will, decided to break his oath with Nebuchadnezzar and ally with Egypt. He was warned that Egypt would not back him up when he went against Nebuchadnezzar but ignored the warnings and was defeated.
     My take on this is that nothing can be done if it does not glorify God. What Zedekiah done was against Gods will, which meant it would never work. We can't do good work in the flesh. We need God to tell us what is to be done. This is good scripture to read with the new year right around the corner. I am going to pray that God tell me what my new years resolution should be, because if it is not Gods work, or Gods plan, it will fail.
     Also, in the end of this scripture, God speaks about planting a seed of David which will prosper and be shelter and shade for all, but will die and then come back. This last verse i believe is speaking of Jesus. Jesus will be a protector for all people, then he will give his life for us, and shed his blood for our sins, then rise again three days later.
     Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to do all things for your glory. I pray that with the new year, i will be led to do greater works for you. Whatever you wish me to do Lord, i will do, because i know that all things are possible with you, and you will not give me a task that is too great for me to handle. Amen.