The Desert Psalm 63:1

     Have you ever felt like you were going through a "dry spell" in your life? Like everything is going wrong and you feel so alone? I've been there. I'm actually just recently coming out of one. I feel like i am on a journey through a desert and God is my water that i am so eagerly seeking.
     Three months ago, i gave birth to my beautiful son, Xander. Everything seemed perfect, new baby, wonderful husband, great, supporting family. What no one realized though was what i was struggling with inside. I felt alone. I felt like the walls were caving in and the floor was being swept out from under me. I was very depressed and had panic attacks all day every day. I was going through baby blues. I felt so far away from God and everyone for that matter. I was in my desert.
     At first, i was angry with God for feeling the way i felt, for letting me go through what i was going through. I had doctors telling me i was suffering from postpartum depression, they even prescribed me an antidepressant. For weeks, i went through my desert seeking doctors as my "water". I was so disappointed when nothing would work, and i just went into a deeper depression.
     Finally, i realized that i was going about it the wrong way. My spirit was thirsty, i needed to seek God in my time of need. I spoke to some pastors from my church and they told me to get into the word. This upset me at first, because i was blaming God for my sorrows, how could He help me if He was the one putting me through this?! But i finally caved in and prayed. As soon as i turned to God to be my source of "water" my panic attacks stopped! it was a true miracle! After three weeks of suffering through my desert, i finally found my water, God.
     What made me think to tell this story was a piece of scripture i came across that jumped out at me. Psalm 63:1 o God, you are my God; i earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. We must truly seek God when going through our tribulations. He will help us through it. I feel like when I do turn to God during these hard times, i become so much closer to him.
     Dear God, i pray that during hard times, i will turn to you for comfort and support. when i feel like there is no one else there, i pray that i know you are always there. Be my water in the desert. Amen.